"I Write to Give Myself Strength"-Joss Whedon

Sometimes I can't help but ask myself why do I really blog. It's not like I have a big audience that I need to "satisfy" or entertain. As a matter of fact, I think most people don't even care about what I write. Well as a matter of fact, I don't really care about what those other people think or say too. They may say I am just showing off or that I am a wanna-be writer or that I am exposing my family in this cyber world, I really do not care, in fact I have my own opinions about those other people too and whether they care or not about what I think about them I still don't care.

Anyway, back to the question why do I write or blog. Yesterday as I was spending my precious time daydreaming about life I came to realize that  the reason I blog was primarily for myself. Of course, I do this for our close friends and family who live FAR from us. Some of our family members especially on my husband's side haven't had the chance to meet Aidan so this is our way of helping them get to know Aidan as he is growing up. But then sometimes there are really just some days that I just need to write.

We live in a town which is literally located in the middle of nowhere, we don't have any family members to visit and we know a very few people. It's not like when we were in Hawaii or in the Philippines where our days are pretty much occupied. In Hawaii, we go to school, work and the beach is always there. In the Philippines, I have my family, malls everywhere, spots to visit and the pool in our condominium. In here, there's not much to do add to that is the fact that I barely just started learning how to drive and I still have to wait for a month before I can hopefully get a license. So you see I'm pretty much stuck at home, whining about this dreary winter weather. Writing is what keeps my sanity. I know it's not like I write good or I write cohesively. As a matter of fact most of the time my thoughts on my blog entries are all over the place. But then writing entertains me, it gives me something to look forward to, it gives me a huge break after chasing and trying to entertain my SUPER active 18 months old bebe. This may sound weird but like reading, writing for a short time pulls me away from my reality which is the reality of a messy house full of dirty clothes, dishes and baby bum. When things seems to be too overwhelming, writing becomes my escape. Then after that short time I feel refreshed, ready to face the needs and MOSTLY the wants of my little family of giants.

Another reason why I blog is that it helps me keep track on the things that happen to our little family. It provides a way for me to document those simple things in our life that we will forever cherish. As our son is growing up we came to realize (and is still trying to embrace) how fast time flies. It literally just slips on our hands, we still can't believe how in 18 months our little fragile baby have transformed into this wrecking machine haha, just kidding but you know what I mean. 

Writing keeps what the mind fails to keep and life is too wonderful to be forgotten.  While we're young we think that our memory will always be in perfect shape, but it's not and it will never be. Personally, writing helps me to relive the sweet memories of the past and when things seems to be falling apart what I have written serves as my teacher.  I love this quote by Anaïs Nin  “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” Writing is really a treasure especially in this world where some people enjoy having a 140 character limit in their thoughts.   

"Babies Destroy Dreams"

I know all of us have times in our life when we feel like doing NOTHING. Well we say we do not want to do anything but the truth is we just want to do certain things that are completely useless. With that I mean like reading random posts on your Facebook feed for hours minutes and then reloading it so you'll see "What's New" and read whatever pleases or intrigues you. This happens to me a lot of times especially when the bebe is napping and the husband is either at school, at work or just across me playing FIFA14. One day I came across a post, I cannot remember what it is about or who's Facebook page it was but there was a comment made for that post that caught my attention. Part of the comment says "babies destroy dreams".

It has been months now since I came across that Facebook post but I cannot wash it off my mind. So here I am writing about it hoping that this post will in one way or another reach that person who have said that statement. I want him/her to know that I do agree with what he/she have said; babies do destroy dreams. On the other hand I also want him to know that I believe that things get destroyed to pave the way to the creation of something new, something bigger or smaller but definitely BETTER. 

As I have written in a previous post, before going to college I pretty much have a step by step list on how I will live my life. To make it short it was COLLEGE --> INTERNSHIP --> "DREAM JOB". There never was marriage and kids on the list and that is why when I announced my decision of getting married there have been a lot of people who has been really skeptical about it. The reactions intensified when months later I announced I was pregnant. At first I did not mind them it was my life and I should not let anybody shape it for me but then as things got more real for me (like my belly getting big, it felt like I was carrying a watermelon all the time) I felt like maybe people were right and I really made the wrong decision.

Things got worst after I gave pregnant, at one point I felt like giving up but there is no way for me to do that. There is no customer service area where I can simply say I am returning the baby because I do not want it anymore or say "I thought I needed it but actually I don't". It was not until I first saw the smile on my baby's face that I realized that I was doing the right thing and that there is no place I'd rather be than his side.  It was during these times when I picked myself up, held my head high and ready to conquer the world with my new family. It still wasn't easy of course, there was a lot of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, messy hair, stretched marks, spilled milk/juice on the carpet that was involved but despite all of this knowing that I have this family for all time and eternity made everything seem so perfect.

As you see babies do destroy dreams but they become your reason to create another dream, something BIGGER and BETTER than before. Babies give you another reason to wake every morning (or at times every 30 minutes or if you're lucky every hour). They give you a new sense of life; with them you always want to be the best that you can be. They give a huge responsibility in your hands; just think about this "who your baby will become depends on the foundations you will create for them". They will sure annoy and disturb you more than anybody else but still you love them more than anybody. They will drain every bit of your energy but it is also them who energizes you to do everything in your power so you can give them the best of everything. I love my son and my husband and I made a promise that no matter what happens we will do everything to help be who he would want to be and also to give him the best that he can have.

Photo by Melinda Pike Photograhy

Love this little monster to pieces. 

Cultural Symbols: Tifaifai

Our holiday vacation is over and I am back to my "normal" life. With "normal" I mean staying at home with the bebe pretending to be busy while the hubby is at school or work. Sometimes I feel like I have so much time on my hands because of our current living situation but the truth is time is going by so fast it gets harder each day to catch up with it. Anyway, since we got back from our Holiday vacation with my sister in Tennessee I have been doing a lot of clean up and organizing in our house and today I happen to stumble upon the tifaifai that was given to us by my husband's grandma for our wedding.

As much as I would love to explain what a tifaifai is in my own word I cannot find the exact words to say so I went to my friend google and here is what I found from www.tnt.pa-tahiti-tourplan.com

"Literally meaning “applique”, the Tifaifai is part of the Polynesian family life. Defined as patchwork bed covers or quilts made out of a sheet of fabric on which have been sown one or several patchworks, or assembled several pieces of fabrics, the Tifaifai is truly precious in Polynesia.They are invaluable gifts from grandmothers or great-grandmothers. Symbols of affection and love, respect and consideration, they are given to a wedding etc"

I have never met my husband's grandmother but with the stories that I have heard and with all the blankets and pillow covers that she gave to us I can say that she sews REALLY REALLY good. And they all last for a long time, my husband's blanket which she gave to him before his mission is still with us, still looking really good despite all the years that it is has been used. 

My husband considers all of her grandmother's work valuable especially the tifaifai that she gave for our wedding. That one has a sentimental value for the both of us not only because my husband' grandma made it but because it is one of our marriage symbols. Like our wedding bands our tifaifai symbolizes our union, the two of us becoming one. I love the fact that even if I am not Tahitian and we were not married in Tahiti we were still able to keep this cultural tradition for our wedding. This tifaifai is really valuable to our family and we are planning to pass it to Aidan when he gets married in the (far, far, far, far) future.

I have a high regard for cultural symbols, for me these symbols define our values and who we truly are on the inside. Being in an intercultural marriage is both exciting and challenging, it is hard to live having to live with both cultures but I always try my best to uphold and respect both my husband's culture and that of my own in our home. I know every marriage is "intercultural" since both parties whether they are of the same race or not have lived their own cultures before they have met their partners but just a note that in this post whenever I use the term culture I am referring to the values, traditions or practices that we share with the people similar to our race. Like Tahitian culture, Filipino culture, and the list goes on and on.

Let me share with you the beauty of the tifaifai that my husband's grandmother made for our wedding. I am sorry for the low quality photo but I just need to post brag about this.